I’ve been complaining that it’s “cold” since Tuesday. We had a week of gorgeous weather and now we’re like a spoiled child who can’t simply be thankful for the “special treat” but demands “MORE!” (Sorry to our Midwestern readers who are inevitably rolling their eyes at this very moment.)
On the coldest of evenings, when we’ve spent all day downstairs in our concrete-floored studio, I shiver my way up to our bathroom and turn the bathtub water to the hottest setting. I pour in a healthy portion of our essential oil bubble bath and impatiently wait for the tub to fill most of the way up. Finally, when it’s filled, I brace myself for the tingling, shooting sensation that will come as I re-heat my toes in the hot water. On one such evening, after I got out of the bath, into my jammies, and into bed, Jacob smiled at me, clearly thinking about something.
“What?” I asked, almost nervous.
“You’re cute,” he said, smiling wider.
“Why?” I asked hesitantly, still slightly nervous.
“I watched you playing with the bubbles. I could see you picking them up, cupping them in your hands, and blowing them off, back into the water. You’re cute.”
My face flushed red because it was true. I had been playing with the bubbles. Embarrassed, I buried my face in his chest and laughed.
As I lay there on his chest I couldn’t help but think about all the times I watch him, all the time him not knowing. I smiled when I remembered looking over our banister from our bedroom to the living room and seeing him desperately trying to get Molly Mae to curl up on his chest so they could enjoy watching the game together. I thought about watching him chew on his tongue, focused on a house project, trying to figure out where to put the nails if he wants to hang 4 frames on a 5 foot wall with 2 inches between each frame. I don’t even think he knows that he does that when he’s focused. I remembered the night he thought I had fallen asleep, and he sat up next to me in bed and pulled out his Bible to read. I remember feeling so thankful for him.
I guess what I realized as I thought about this is that we are always watching one another. It doesn’t stop when we are dating. We continue to form our opinions (good or bad) of our spouses by watching them. How do they act when they think no one is watching? We either grow deeper in love and respect for them or we begin to lose respect for them as we watch their behavior. My hope for you is that as you watch your spouse you look for moments to fall deeper in love with them. Peek around the corner of the play room to watch your husband reading and giggling with your child before announcing it’s dinner time. Watch your wife put on her mascara before your dinner date, and when she catches you, scoop her into your arms and tell her how beautiful she is to you. Watch one another… And as you watch, look for chances to grow in your respect for each other. Look for chances to give one another grace. Look for chances to fall deeper in love.
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