You may have noticed that I have been MIA as far as Little Love Stories go. It’s been exactly 6 weeks since my last story. 6 WEEKS. I have a whole bag of excuses ready: the end of wedding season being a little crazy, launching We Heart Photobooths, general Fall coziness, etc. But the truth is, I just got lazy, then I got scared. Scared of what? After 2 missed Little Love Story Fridays, I thought, “Oh man. My comeback story better be good. It better be real good.” So, because of a lack of “inspiration”, week 3 and 4 whizzed by. Last week I sat down, determined that I would write a story.
Open Firefox. Login. Choose “New Post”. I began to type. One sentence… Delete. Start over. Three sentences… Reread… Delete. This story isn’t good enough. (Read: I’m not good enough.) People are going to think, “Really? We waited 5 weeks for THAT?” Close page. Close Firefox. Go find a cookie. Eat said cookie.
Just last night, as I was falling asleep, I was thinking about what I would write today. I knew that today was the day. I had to put my fingers to the keyboard and just write. I tried to conjure up some inspiration. Think, Christin. Something sweet! Like… Hm… Um… Okay, never mind. Something funny! Like Jacob’s American flag. Yes! The flag. No, that’s not good enough for my “comeback” story. Something deep. *Mind goes blank for at least 15 seconds.* Okay, maybe not. I know. Just write something. It doesn’t have to be amazing. It doesn’t have to be sweet or funny or deep. It just has to be something.
It got me thinking. Don’t we all experience this in some way? We don’t go to the gym because, well, let’s be honest, it’s been six months so what’s another day going to hurt? We don’t pursue our dream career because we fear failure. We won’t go back to church because we’ve been gone too long and the questions and judgements seem too much to bear. I don’t write a Little Love Story because I’m already a failure. What’s the point of even trying? And, what if it’s not good enough? What if I’m not good enough?
Teddy Roosevelt spoke about this fear of failure. “Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure… than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.” That statement gave me chills. I do not want to be a “poor [spirit] who neither enjoy[s] nor suffer[s] much” simply because I fear my inevitable failure.
Yes, I realize that my Little Love Story writing is something so insignificant in the grand scheme of life. But isn’t it these small experiences that illustrate our deeper struggles?
So, this is my Little Love Story comeback. Not something sweet or funny or special in any way. But it is something.
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