I’ve been writing little letters to Lilah Rae since the day we found out we were pregnant. Of course, throughout the pregnancy we didn’t know that she was a she or that her name would be Lilah, so I’d write to “Baby Bear” or “Little Lovebug”. Now that she’s here I’ve been trying to continue to write to her. There are so many things about her that I want to remember and when I go back and read what I wrote to her when she was born or at 3 months old, there are already things I had forgotten. Yesterday she turned 6 months old.
6 months ago this morning I woke up in a hospital, holding a 7 pound, 3 ounce Lilah Rae. Jacob and I cried all morning because we couldn’t have imagined the joy we would feel meeting our daughter. I vividly remember looking over at Jacob as he laid on the hospital couch with Lilah on his bare chest. I asked him, “How do you feel?”, expecting to get an answer about how he slept. His eyes welled up with tears as he said, “My heart is very bursting.”
I will never forget those words and I will never forget the feelings that were so perfectly expressed by them.
Here’s the little letter for Lilah that I wrote yesterday:
Today is your 6 Month Birthday. You are the sweetest, smiliest 6 month old I have ever met. There are so many things I want to remember about you at this age. Here are a few of them…
You wake up with the sweetest, happiest smile on your face. You are my little joy girl. I always find myself singing to you, “I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart… And I’m so happy, so very happy. I’ve got the love of Jesus in my heeeeaaart.”
You are so silly at 6 months old. You tell jokes and you think they’re funny. I think they’re funny too. You don’t laugh much, but when you do, it’s so funny. You have the best giggle.
You are also the wiggliest little worm. You don’t sit still for more than 20 seconds. If I’m holding you, you want to fly in the air. If you’re on the ground, you want to roll around or sit up. You’re so active and so strong. I’m proud of how big you’re getting and how hard you work to learn new things.
I want to remember our special evenings together. Every night, after bath, I lay you on the bed and give you your paci and you smile and smile and smile. I kiss your squishy cheeks and you giggle. Every night I want to kiss them over and over again but I have to get your jammies on. So, I lotion your little legs and arms, get your jammies on, and sneak one more little neck kiss before bedtime.
I love the way you smell. Your skin smells so sweet – like that lavender lotion we use. I never want to forget that sweet, sweet, lavender baby smell.
I want to remember the way you look up at me when you wake up in the Ergo. Your eyes are so big and your cheeks are so rosy. You’ll lay there on my chest for a few minutes while you wake up. Once you wake up a little you give me the biggest smile. I love these quiet moments with you.
When I think of you, my little Lilah Bug, at 6 months old, I will think of that huge smile, your two little teeth, and that high-pitched squeal you love to do – you’re our little pterodactyl baby. I’ll think of your sweet spirit, silly expressions, and the joy your little heart is filled with. I’ll remember all-night snuggle sessions, cozy bath times, and lots of bouncing with you in the Ergo. I’ll imagine your round, bald head, squishable cheeks, and 2-tooth grin, so happy and so sweet.
I love you, little Loo Loo Bear. I’m so thankful that God gave you to us and that He allowed us to meet you 6 months ago today. Happy Happy Half-Birthday, Little Love.
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