Some of you may have noticed my Little Love Story absence over the past year. To be honest, our Little Love Stories get more views, likes, and shares than any of our photography posts, so why has a year gone by and I’ve only written 10 Little Love Stories?
The truth is, that I had about a thousand little love stories in my brain but they all had to do with this little thing I couldn’t talk about – this one very little, very sweet thing I now hold in my arms – our sweet Lilah Rae. You see, just over a year ago, on the morning of Friday, February 21st, we found out that we were pregnant. With lives that feel very public sometimes (by our own choice) we decided that we really wanted to have something that was just for us, just ours. And so we made the choice to not post anything about our baby on social media until it was born.
I wanted to tell the story of how I told Jacob that I was pregnant by giving him a onesie with a little camera on it, how we smiled and laughed and walked to the beach to celebrate. I wanted to tell about the day we first saw that little flicker of a heartbeat and how my heart was overwhelmed with love for something the size of a blueberry. I wished I could write about the day Jacob sent me a little bear emoji in reference to our baby, and how it became our first official name for our little one – Baby Bear. I so badly wanted to share the story of the first time I felt our little Baby Bear move. It was like a little flick and it was so beautiful. I wanted to share with someone, anyone, on the day that we decided that if we had a little girl, she’d be named Lilah Rae because we loved the southern sound of it and we wanted to name her after her auntie Rachel. I wanted to write about the day that Jacob made his pregnant wife eat mold. (Oh wait. I did write about that. You just didn’t know I was pregnant!) And even though it was one of the scariest moments of my life, I wanted to tell about the day they couldn’t find a heartbeat with the Doppler, those moments of sorrow as we moved to the ultrasound room to confirm our worst fear, and then pure joy I felt when I heard a sweet, small thump of a heartbeat. Oh, I wanted to tell you these stories and a thousand more, but the truth is that they would all have the same theme – thankfulness. I’m so thankful for the privilege of being pregnant, for the sweetest husband who loved me so well throughout those 9 months, for a safe, healthy labor and delivery, and, above all, the sweet little girl that I am rocking to sleep as I type this.
So, instead of writing those thousand stories that were in my brain, I moved them to my heart, and there they’ll stay forever.
***For more of our Little Love Stories, click here.***