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I Love You

The whole “letting go” of the “getting engaged” thing was short-lived. Surprised?

A few days later, a Wednesday night to be exact, Jacob and I had made dinner and were hanging out at his apartment. We were listening to music and just being together. It was such a sweet view of what our lives would be like when we got married someday. The thought crossed my mind, “If he proposed right now, gym shorts, no makeup and all, I would love it. It would be so unexpected and sweet and just perfect.” I imagined him kneeling by the couch, grabbing my hand, and saying, “I put a lot of thought into where I wanted to do this. And I want to do it right here. Because if we’re 99 years old, and we are doing exactly this, that would be good enough for me.” I then realized that I had gotten this idea from Bride Wars because that’s exactly how Anne Hathaway’s character got engaged. Too many romantic comedies…

As I got lost in playing out different scenarios I suddenly blurted out, “I just want to be with you!” He smirked with confusion, “You ARE with me.” He pulled me in closer. “No, like forever!” Genuine surprise came over his face. We never spoke like that, so boldly about marriage. We were still using the “when I get married someday” instead of “when WE get married.” His smirk annoyed me. And with that one sentence, I was unleashed.

“And it seems like we are never going to get engaged and I don’t even think you’ve talked to my parents yet. You know you have to, right? Of course you do. And you never say anything about getting married and I know it’s only been a year but we know so why don’t we just get engaged and have you even thought about a ring and how are you going to know what I like and what is your plan? Do you have a plan?”

He smiled. “Don’t worry about it.”

I was not satisfied. “I need to worry about it. I just want to know if you have a plan because I have no clue whether I should be expecting it soon or not for a few months or years or never! I can’t wait forever. I just want to have an idea of when it’s going to happen so that I don’t keep getting my hopes up and I just… I just… I don’t know. Do you have a ring? Just tell me that?”

Silence.

“So… you do? Otherwise you would say no. Or, you don’t and you don’t want to tell me! If you have a ring, and it’s hidden in that closet, just walk over there, get it out, and ask me to marry you!”

I imagined him responding, “I have never met a more obnoxious, complicated, overbearing… gorgeous, smart, sexy woman in my life. And if you had just waited until tomorrow,” pulling out a ring box, “well then you wouldn’t be the woman I fell in love with because she doesn’t know how to wait! Which is fine, as long as I get to spend the rest of my life trying to catch up with her.” He pulls out a sparkly ring and says, “Christin, will you marry me?”

Oh wait, that’s Bride Wars again.

Instead, he was silent. I stared into his eyes, searching for answer, trying to read him. It felt like 10 minutes but he claims it was only 30 seconds. Finally, he spoke the words I had longed to hear him say ever since our “miscommunication”.

“I love you.”

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